FATHER, YAH, ELOHIM. I ask that you guide my words throughout this message. That YOU be the one to shine and take stage as I reveal the word YOU have given to me. FATHER, I thank YOU for allowing me the chance to share my love for YOU with any and all that would listen. I humbly ask that YOU speak for me, so that all who hear will see YOU and YOU alone. Amen
Hey everyone, I know it’s been a while. My life has been busy lately and I have neglected blogging. But tonight, I feel my CREATOR’S call, and I feel deeply led to share my thoughts with you all. HALLELU YAH! Let us begin…
There is no greater feeling in the world than when YAH speaks to you and/or answers a prayer. For those of you who have either audibly or inaudibly heard the voice of our FATHER, you understand how amazing the experience can be. For those of you who have not ever heard HIM speak to you, it may seem incredible and/or unbelievable.
Many times, I have heard people speak about hearing YAH speak to them, leading them and guiding them through a tough situation. Or about YAH answering a prayer for them. But, I don’t think that this has happened to everyone.
Obviously, if you do not believe or pray then it may never have happened to you. But even to those who do pray faithfully, sometimes they don’t ever hear or see the FATHER’S hand move.
Or maybe… it just didn’t happen the way you believed it should.
In my experiences, believing and following YAH, I have audibly heard HIM (or possibly a messenger of HIM) speak, inaudibly heard HIM speak, have had prayers directly answered and indirectly answered. There have been times when I believe HE was speaking and I didn’t hear what I wanted so I chalked it up to my “head” talking to me. Only to find out later that it was CLEARLY HIM.
But there are two ways in which I have heard HIM speak that have blown my mind.
The first, is in song and the second is in dreams.
This blog will be about the first way and the next blog will be about the second. So, let’s begin with song.
First, I want to tell you the story of music in my life.
Throughout my entire life, music has been deeply important to me. I am a singer. Not professionally, but through and through I am a singer. I love singing, harmonizing and listening to just about any kind of music. When I was younger, it was about absorbing any music I could. I eat lyrics up like the cookie monster eats cookies. Ask anyone who knows me, I’m a lyric master, lol.
As I grew older, it became more about notes and phrases. I was always in choir at school and often in church choir as well. I even spent 2 years singing in Garland All-City choir. I participate in Music Recognition UIL, sang at Oprys and always, always sang with and for family and friends.
It wasn’t until I got into HIghschool that I started to really bring the two together. I started interpreting music along with lyrics. Often writing lyrics and making up melodies to go with them. I never shared them with people, but I loved to do it on my own.
When I was about 15, I got seriously involved with Youth Band. Our youth group, started a band of all youth members. We practiced once a week, led youth worship every Wednesday and once a month we got to lead Sunday night main service. During that time, YAH spoke to me through songs constantly. Occasionally, HE would lead me to sing a song that seem to fit perfectly. Often HE would lead our entire band to sing certain songs that helped bring HIS MESSAGE to a greater height. I was truly moved by the music. I felt that when I sang praises, I could almost reach out and touch YAH’S face. It was magical. But as time went on, it became about being the center of attention. One night, as I was praying with a very unfocused heart, because my mind was on “performing”, YAH inaudibly spoke to me. Within my head, I heard a loud voice say “SILENT”. Of course, I ignored it. Because to being with, I wasn’t quite sure what I needed to be silent about. But deep in my heart, the fear began to run rampant. Because I knew where HE was heading with this message. I began to see small signs at first, like I got sick and couldn’t sing for a few days. Then, it seemed every song I tried to harmonize just didn’t sound right. Eventually, I humbly asked for YAH to tell me what it was I needed to hear. And the HOLY SPIRIT moved so suddenly, that I was brought to tears. HE wanted me to stop singing. It broke my heart. I asked HIM “FATHER, does it not please YOU to hear the voice YOU gave me singing YOUR praise?” and I again, felt the SPIRIT move suddenly, asking me, “Are you singing MY praise? or are you praising your singing?”. I knew the answer. I had become so full of my position, I had forgotten what it was all about. So, I resigned from the band as a singer and began to sign. I had picked up a lot of sign language at the church I was attending. Not as much to speak, but to sign songs for the deaf. So, I shut my mouth and began using my hands to praise instead. Boy, was that humbling. It took a lot of strength to keep my mouth closed. But I did. After about a month of silence, I heard a song during a Disciple Now event. The song was “Word of GOD speak” by MercyMe. Two boys from our youth group sang it. In that moment, part of me was saying “I want to sing, I could sing this so good” But the other part was saying “Listen. Listen to the words, hear them and feel them and realize the message YAH is sending you.” So, I followed that second voice, and was in tears. In that song, I heard HIM speaking to me. Telling me that it wasn’t about me, it was about HIM. After that, I felt the SPIRIT telling me, “Now that you see, you may sing”. From that moment on, I have remained humble about the talent that HE gave me. I haven’t always given HIM the outloud credit, but have always remembered that at any moment, I could be silenced, and that’s okay.
For those of you who do not know what happened to me, I won’t get into detail, it can be found here: The Change. But, I fell away. Music became my “god”. I knew everything new, a lot of old and my life became about music, because I was angry with YAH.
When I finally began to turn around and face my CREATOR, I tried to remember all of the hymns and praise songs I had so memorized in my past. But I couldn’t. You see, music had always been a way for me to connect my heart to the heart of the FATHER. and since my heart had become darkened, that connection had as well. I mean, literally, I could remember lyrics from 5th grade choir, but couldn’t remember 10th grade praise and worship songs from church. It was actually kind of eerie. There was one single song that I could recall. It was one that was often sang a’cappella by two or more people. The song was “Sanctuary”. It was simple. So I sang it, as my heart led me back to YAH, YESHUA and the HOLY SPIRIT. I sang it all the time. I sang it out loud, under my breath, in my head. I just kept singing it. Then one night, I fell to my knees and truly prayed for YAH to accept me back. To forgive me for all that I had done during the time that I ran from HIM. Within literally, an INSTANT, the songs came back. Suddenly, I was remembering all of the songs I had learned. They came like a flood. My heart felt filled with love and light, and my head was filled with all of the wonderful praises I had sang to my FATHER so long ago. It was an amazing experience. Seconds before my prayer I had remembered only ONE song. But with my heartfelt surrender to HIM, HE had opened the flood gates of my mind and allowed me to have that deep musical connection with HIM once again.
Since then, I have only grown stronger in my faith and following. But one of the toughest issues I had was music. Being back under HIS love and commitment, I couldn’t very well continue to listen to the filth I had been listening to for the past few years. Not only was it filthy, but it was full of out right defiance and blasphemy. In my heart, I knew I could no longer listen to it. But, while I could fill my computer with Christian music, my radio was another story. With there being only one Christian channel I know of, 94.9 KLTY, I felt I had no options.Then, one day as I was driving and switching through all of the channels trying to find an inoffensive song I heard the song that changed my life. The song was fairly new at the time, though I’m sure MOST people know it by now, called “Happy” by Pharell. The beat was super catchy, the lyrics were easy and repeated often. The harmonies were WONDERFUL and it was truly this choir singer’s song. So, I was listening to this wonderful song about being Happy and it HIT me. I thought “Why am I happy?” Well, I’m happy because YESHUA died for me and the HOLY SPIRIT is with me and YAH is my FATHER. Yeah, that’s why. So I started improvising the lyrics to make it a YAH song, and it began! I began listening and altering songs that I heard on secular stations to make them about praising YAH. It allowed me the freedom to listen to other non-Christian stations, without bending my beliefs. Now, I still avoid the straight filth, but there are so many songs that can be made into YAH songs, that I get a wider variety, even though I find myself listening to KLTY most often.
So, as I have adapted and grown my “covers” list, I have begun to hear HIM speak through music again. A lot of times, when I pray or feel down, songs will pop into my head that seem to be perfectly fitting with what I needed to hear. I believe this is YAH. But it’s easy to convince yourself it’s just you. But then there are times like tonight, when they come out of the radio and I am blown away at how YAH works in mysterious ways.
I spent the day and evening with my Mom, Daughter and two Nephews. I stayed very late, to help put kids to bed, and once my two nephews had fallen asleep it became apparent that my daughter wasn’t happy. She began crying and expressing fears that if I went home and she stayed, she might never see me again. So, my daughter, mom and I prayed. We prayed for my daughter’s comfort and safe keeping. Then my daughter, who has never been taught this, laid hands on me and my mom and said her own silent prayer. After she seemed calmed down and in bed with my stepdad, I left. As I was driving, I felt the SPIRIT move in me deeply, bringing me to tears for unknown reasons. So, I began to pray. It started with simply asking YAH to watch over my girl, but as I continued it became me thanking HIM for her heart, being so full of HIM and so led by HIM. Then, I got to talking about myself. I told YAH, that I just wanted to have her child-like heart. That I wanted to follow HIM and become the person HE wants me to be. To fulfill my calling and live the life HE means for me to live. But that it was so hard. So hard to know what to do and then, once you know to follow it and trust in HIS plan. By this time I was crying and begging for HIM to show me. I don’t even remember what song was playing as I prayed. All I remember is that once I said “Amen” a song I happen to love very much, and interpret as a YAH song came on. The song is “I will wait” by Mumford & Sons. At first, I just sang, then it hit me. There is my answer. To the first part at least. Not being so bent on knowing, but simply waiting to hear the call. Once that song was over, I felt moved to listen to KLTY, so I switched and the song I heard was one I had never heard before, but it was exactly what I needed. “I need a miracle” by Third Day, blasted through my speakers. By this time, I was in tears again, thinking “HE is talking to me through songs”. Not only did the song resonate with me about many things, but the final lyrics read: “He turned on the radio to hear a song for the last time, He didn’t know what he was looking for, or even what he’d find, The song he heard gave him hope and strength to carry on, And on that night they found a miracle, They found a miracle” which was such a confirmation of what I was thinking that I began crying again. It was like the FATHER was telling me, “Listen up, Christy, this is for you.” The final song I heard, and finished listening to as I parked my car was “There is a Way” by New World Son. I had heard this one before, but I hadn’t ever listened to the lyrics.
“There is a way, there is a spark, There is a hope that you can hold on to, There is a lifeline come to the rescue, Just like a hand that’s waiting for you, And if you believe in this I promise that you won’t be alone”
I walked into my house feeling whole once again. I had earnestly sought out my CREATOR, my FATHER, my YAH, in prayer and HE had blessed me with 3 songs of affirmation. Could it have been a coincidence? I’m sure some will say that is so. But I won’t. I believe it was the hand of YAH, telling me in our special way, that HE is there and HE is listening.
So, just because you don’t hear an audible voice, doesn’t mean HE won’t find a way to tell you all you need to know…
Until Next Time,
YAH be with you all.
YAH, thank YOU for giving me this message of love and hope. Please be with all who read this, and allow them to see YOUR mighty and powerful ways. Amen.