Continuing with the Mommy BLUES, our next topic is BAD ATTITUDES and how to handle them!
Of course, with all of my advice, not EVERY CHILD has each and every particular issue.
I have been lucky in some areas and troubled in others. We have had easy success and troubled triumphs.
But one thing we have struggled with in particular is today’s topic, BAD ATTITUDES. And I have seen it a LOT in children today.
To begin with, I want to reiterate something I mentioned in my “Children and Cursing” Blog: It all begins with YOU. If you have a bad attitude, or exhibit any negative outlets of emotion your child will begin to employ those very techniques in their own lives. Especially when they are YOUNG. Their minds are like SPONGES, taking in ALL information and employing it in their lives. So my first piece of advice, which UNFORTUNATELY comes from experience, watch your OWN attitude!
Now, there are different ways that a bad attitude can show in your child’s behavior.
It may be:
A Smart Mouth
A Spoiled Disposition
An Angry/withdrawn Temperament
And of course, there are MANY little things that they do like crying, tantrums, etc. that are manifestations of a BAD ATTITUDE.
The issue with these kinds of behaviors is that they ARE, in FACT, a DISRESPECT. By doing any of these they are undermining your authority and disrespecting you, as their parent.
The first thing I ever suggest is to simply say “That behavior is unacceptable.” Of course you may need to alter it like “That attitude is a NO-NO” or WHATEVER, just a clear, concise statement that the remark and/or action is NOT going to be allowed. And you have to nip it in the bud, IMMEDIATELY. Don’t ever let them get away with it. As soon as they have shown their bad attitude, you call them on it and let them know EXACTLY where you stand on that behavior.
Then, depending on your type of parenting, there are a multitude of things you can do. Spanking, Time-Out, Grounding… Heck, I actually had my mouth washed with soap, at least one time, I can remember! I personally find that if the remark or action is BAD enough, one swat to the behind can really nip it, but that is MY way. Not for everyone. But, I also employ time-outs and groundings.
But an important aspect of ANY disciplining is that in the end, you have an open conversation explaining the negative effect of their attitudes and make them apologize. I cannot stress how important it is to create the habit of apologizing for negative behavior. Not only does it help them to become caring and considerate people, they learn to have humility when they have wronged someone. And, in the beginning of their little lives, they simply will not KNOW and sometimes not REMEMBER the need to apologize and make amends, so you HAVE to MAKE them apologize, but you also need to explain WHY they should apologize. I think I have said this before, but I like to use the “In my Shoes” technique and tell them to imagine how they would feel if I had done or said the same thing to them. Often, that will get them to apologize on their own.
Join me FRIDAY as we continue with MISBEHAVING: NOT LISTENING. Where we will discuss how to get your child to pay attention and respect your rules!
Until Next Time,
Wild Mommy MC
@WildMommyMC on twitter and facebook