Treasure Jar

Hey, Wild Mommy here, with another Way to stay WILD:

Make a Treasure jar.

treasure_chest

What you need:

A jar (fill an old pickle jar with half water half vinegar and let it sit in a warm place for a while then dish-wash!) or any plastic jar dish-washed, or EVEN a soda bottle with the top cut off. (use cardboard and poke holes through half the edges of the cardboard and the bottle, then put string through the holes tying the lid half down!)

ACRYLIC paint for glass jars or any other kind of paint for the others. (If you have no paint glue construction/blank paper to the sides and have them COLOR it!)

Any dime-sized decorative pieces and sparkles!

Hot glue gun OR a very STRONG glue. Not regular glue.

…………………………………………………………………….

Paint/Color, Glue on decorations and sparkles. Write “____________’s Treasure Jar” on it and voila!

Then tell them to put special things inside and hide it!

You can ALSO use this with the “Pirate” craft as a Treasure Chest!!

 

2 heads are better than 1

So, I want to start off by saying:

Image

To my wonderful boyfriend, Wild Daddy.

He’s the one who gave me the name Wild Mommy.

And he’s the one who has helped me become Wild Mommy and Wild Wifey!

He is a wonderful man who makes me laugh and smile  through it all.

Thank you Wild Daddy, for being you and loving me. Oh, and loving Wild Boo too!

So, onto the blog…

In honor of Wild Daddy’s birthday, we’re going to talk about SHARING PARENTING.

One of the biggest things I feel are to blame for the breakdown of society is the break down of FAMILY.

Every Wild Mommy needs another Wild partner to share parenting with.

This person does NOT need to be your ACTUAL partner.

It could be a Wild Daddy, Wild Mommy, Wild Uncle, Wild Cousin… whatever!

The only things that matters are:

1-You agree on parenting styles (or they at least bend to your design)

2-They are of the opposite sex* and

3-They love you and your child.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I was a single-mom for a while, and I have the UTMOST respect for any single parent. No, you DO NOT need a husband or wife to raise a child. BUT, you should have a counterpart present in you child’s life.

Too many kids out there are growing up with only ONE parent to look up to for guidance. The biggest issue with this problem is that children need both FEMALE AND MALE examples of good people. Again, I am not arguing that only “couples” should have kids or that the only way to raise a kid right is by being a couple, all I am saying is make sure that whatever influence YOU make in their life, you have an equal but opposite influence as well. Not only will this allow your child the best possible experience, but it will also allow you breaks which create a better relationship between parents and children.

I think we can all agree that men and women are different. From our physical appearance to the way our brains work, we are so very different. And that’s where being a single-parent, you can run into issues. Perhaps it’s easier for same-sex parent-children, but I have seen many a mom struggle with a rowdy boy and seen many a dad struggle with a sensitive girl. The differences between males and females not only create diversity but these two types of DIFFERING roles are NEEDED in society. No matter how equal our gender rights are, we must all be aware that there are differences between us that are important! and it is DOUBLY important that we teach our kids these gender roles, but include the idea of breaking societal norms!

So, how do you do this? By setting a good example yourself. If you’re a Wild Mommy, teach your kids about being a GOOD WOMAN. Then, introduce them to a GOOD MAN so he can set that example. Again, this doesn’t have to mean a “DAD” in the normal sense. It can be grandpa or uncle or even a friend of the family. The ONLY point is to make sure they have good examples of BOTH genders. Because when you only have ONE, your child can become majorly off balance.

Example: There was a time period, between my divorce and meeting my boyfriend, where my daughter, Boo, had no male influence in her life.  It was me and Mammaw raising a 2 year old. (That was also WAAAAAY too smart for her own good, and still is!) At the time, I remember thinking “This single-parent thing isn’t so bad”. But, I saw very quickly how hard it could get. Boo began misbehaving all the time. She had an attitude 5 miles long and her favorite word was “No”. Now, though most people chalked it up to “terrible twos”, even me, once I met my boyfriend he revealed the real situation. Boo hadn’t had a DAD in a pretty long while. and she hadn’t really had ANY male influence. Though I had been disciplining and handling her attitude, it never WENT AWAY. However, 3 months into dating my boyfriend, Boo had almost COMPLETELY gone away. Now, I will say, my boyfriend REALLY stepped up to the plate on this one. He took it upon himself to be a good MALE role model for Boo. Not only did he do the positive things like playing with her and loving on her, but he disciplined her too! And like I said, 3 months, and she had CHANGED! She stopped misbehaving all the time, she QUIT talking back to me (which was my boyfriend’s BIGGEST pet peeve, her disrespecting me) and she seemed HAPPIER. She NEEDED a MALE in her life. She needed that security and consistency. Not only that, but she needed to see how a MALE is supposed to treat a FEMALE, via role model.

I wish I had relied on my brother more during the times when I had no partner. I think Boo would have benefited quite a bit!

All I am saying is, find someone of the opposite sex to set an example for your child.  It may not be detrimental to their health, but it is definitely BENEFICIAL to their growth into good adults!

Join me Friday as we continue to learn more about being a WILD MOMMY and raising a WILD CHILD! Also check out “Ways to stay WILD” tomorrow for tips on being an extra AWESOME Wild Mommy.

Wild Mommy MC

@wildmommymc

WildMommyMC@yahoo.com

Easy craft to do together…

craft-materials

Hey Wild Mommies!

Here’s an easy craft you can do with your kid and ways to make it bigger, better and more difficult!

Spy glass: Take Glue, a Marker, The cardboard roll from a toilet paper roll or paper towel roll, Paint (any kind will do!) and Any dime-sized “decorative” pieces (ex: pieces of jewelry you don’t wear), Alternative to paints include: nail polish, food coloring etc.

Paint and glue things to the roll, then write “_________’s Spyglass” on it!

Belt: Take a belt, scarf, sock or the like.

Tie/belt the item loosely, putting the knot/buckle at their hip!

Sword: Take paper, cardboard, glue, crayons and marker.

Outline a sword on paper and have your kiddo color it. (If you have any small items left from your “spyglass” use them too!)  Then, cut out the paper and glue it to cardboard and cut the cardboard out in line with the paper.

Combine those crafts with some pirate like clothes and you’ll have a top notch, one of a kind Pirate Costume!

Plus, once you have spent them time doing the craft, and you need to make it ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE, your kiddo won’t mind playing on their own! Just say “Okay, no go play treasure hunt”

Bonus: Include an actual treasure hunt with map and TREASURE while they color or WHATEVER and they will be occupied even longer, plus work on good skills!

Round… Set… FIGHT! – Wild Mommy Myth Buster

So, as I have mentioned before, being a “Wild Mommy” is about breaking societal “norms” about motherhood and parenting. So, I’d like to begin breaking down these walls with what I like to call a “Wild Mommy Myth Buster”. These posts will tackle topics that are common parenting misconceptions or misunderstandings, while giving advice on building a better alternative to the myth!

So, Wild Mommy Myth Buster #1- NO FIGHTING

I can already hear people in my head arguing with me. Before I have even begun to articulate my point, some parents will have already tuned out. See, the common misconception is that your child should NEVER FIGHT. Not you, their friends, their teachers, etc.  And to a certain degree, you are right! It is perfectly normal to teach your child to avoid fights. But, we must be careful, because we want to raise CIVIL, PEACEFUL children, but we also NEED FIGHTERS!

Ask yourself, where would the world be today if no one ever FOUGHT? There are so many important issues in today’s society that might not have ever been brought into light without these fighters. Because a black man stood up and fought, we have equal race rights. Because a woman stood up and fought, we have equal gender rights. And so on and so forth.  So many good things have come from people that fought for their beliefs. But the fact is, most parents are actually DISCOURAGING this trait in their children.

Now, obviously there are some forms of fighting that I do NOT CONDONE! I do not EVER condone physical fighting (unless in self-defense) or OFFENSIVE fighting. Offensive fighting is when someone is fighting strictly to be mean or offensive. Those 2 types, and any like them, that do NOT produce good results, should, for obvious reasons not be allowed! But, that leaves quite a BIT of gray area, where kids should find their ground.

Throughout my entire childhood I was allowed to fight. When I was punished or lectured, I was allowed to argue, so long as I kept it ABSOLUTELY RESPECTFUL! So many of my friends thought this was CRAZY! When my mom or dad would ask me to do something, if I was busy, I would ask if I could have 5 minutes and they’d usually oblige. Seriously, my friends thought I was NUTS to respond that way. But, I had 2 parents who weren’t afraid to let me speak my mind! Because they knew it was a mind based in RESPECT for THEM! That’s not to say I didn’t ever use my smart little mouth on them, but I did it FAR LESS than most of my friends and I managed to have a REALLY HEALTHY, FUNCTIONING relationship with my parents, which most of my friends didn’t have with theirs. As long as I followed the rules, outlined by my parents, I was allowed to discuss ANYTHING with them. And occasionally, I changed their minds!

This way of parenting helps children feel like their opinions matter. And quite frankly, parents aren’t showing kids that enough! A lot of parents are so STUCK on the idea of being right because they are the parent, they don’t see that sometimes we’re WRONG and our kiddos have it right!

But, the real issue, isn’t about who is right and who is wrong, it’s about their future.

If you raise a child who is never allowed to argue or fight back when they are truly passionate about something you will create that SAME TYPE of adult. But, as an adult, a lack of fight can translate into a lack of AMBITION! Allowing your child to argue their point creates an adult that won’t be RUN OVER by everyone! Think about it, if every time your child tries to argue you shut them down, they will eventually NOT ARGUE. And to some parents, this seems like the RIGHT thing. But, here’s the message you’re sending:

No matter WHAT you truly believe, if the acting authority over you disagrees, you must comply with their choice.

Which, don’t get me wrong, to some degree is a good lesson. Obviously, there is a level of respect given to ANY person of authority. But, what if a teacher begins to fail them for personal reasons? or if their boss hits on them for a promotion? When your child, as an adult, is faced with an authority that is WRONG, you will want them to be able to STAND UP FOR THEMSELVES! Well, it begins by standing up to YOU!

As their parent, you ARE the AUTHORITY. There is basically NO ONE above Mom and/or Dad to a child. So you must use YOUR relationship with your child to set an example for their future relationships with authorities.

So, how is it that you actually go about breaking this MYTH?

First, build a relationship based on respect and love that allows your child to speak freely with you. This will encourage them to talk to you and to be honest when they do.

Secondly, always encourage your child to question everything and make their own decisions. This will help your child find who they are and give them a strong sense of self.

And the third MOST IMPORTANT aspect is to set out RULES for arguments, and be STRICT about those rules/punishments. Decide what actions and attitudes will be “conversation enders”, set up a way to identify whose turn it is to speak, etc. Then, don’t ever WAIVER from the rules!

By utilizing those 3 tips you can allow your child the freedom to fight, without the loss of respect for those in charge. Therefore, creating an adult who stands for what they believe in and isn’t afraid to FIGHT against INJUSTICES!

Join me Wednesday as we continue to learn more about our children and ourselves, while BUSTING these Mommy Myths!

ALSO, If you need any TIPS for setting up your “Rules of Argumentation”, email me or check out the list that will be coming soon to http://www.WildMommyMC.com!

Until Next Time,

Wild Mommy MC

@wildmommymc

WildMommyMC@yahoo.com

Encourage your WILD child! The end of our walk…

So, over the past week, we’ve discussed the MANY ways to help you become a better, “WILDER” mommy. But as our walk comes to an end, it’s not YOU I want to discuss, but your kids! The final piece in being a Wild Mommy is encouraging a WILD CHILD!

Now, you may see “Wild Child” and think misbehavior or craziness, but much like being a “Wild Mommy”, it really is more about breaking down the societal norms.

It seems to me, that it would be a “no-brainer” to encourage your child to do whatever they desire in life. As parents, it’s our job to encourage our children to explore the world around them and make choices based on a good moral foundation. But, I have seen, too many times, parents making choices for their kids and the problem is that it doesn’t seem like they are doing that. There are 2 ways, that parents STUNT their children’s growth and REPLACE it with their own agenda.

#1- PUSHING- Making a child part of an activity which they did not choose.

#2- LIMITING/PROHIBITING Not allowing a child to be a part of an activity they choose due to societal “norms” or personal opinion.

Both of these are ways that you STUNT your child’s personal growth and replace it with your OWN agenda. Which, in my opinion, is completely and UTTERLY WRONG!

One of the most important thing we can do as parents, is to create a child who is comfortable being themselves. In a world, so full of insecurities, it drives me crazy to see kids, when generally interested in something, being shut down by their parents preconceived notions. The fact is, our children need the ability to discover life on their own. What parents are there for, is to give them a compass, or a map, something that can HELP them shape their decisions based on good moralities, but it doesn’t CHOOSE THEIR JOURNEY!

Let me ask you, reader, have you ever heard the terminology “Find Yourself”? MANY young adults use this phrase. It usually coincides with college or a trip or whatever, between about 18-25. This concept, didn’t come from nothing.

Children who are not allowed to explore themselves at young ages, feel compelled to do so when they are older. The problem with this, is when you raise a kid who isn’t secure in who they are, they either tend to ALTER who they are in order to “fit in”  or end up exploring NEGATIVE things, they perhaps would never have been interested in before, had they been allowed more freedom.

The steps to preventing this are SUPER EASY, right?

All you have to do is let your kid be his or her self.

But, really, it can be harder than you think. So, let’s take a look at the 2 ways we stunt their growth.

#1- PUSHING

Now, there is a difference between pushing and encouraging. You should never force your child to be involved in an activity or group, that they did not express their OWN interest in. Some parents will argue, that their kid is too young to decide what activities to be involved in. I see it all the time, kids being put into little league or gymnastics, and the kid doesn’t really want to be there. If your child, is too young to tell you what they are interested in, then they are too young to be IN anything. If your child cannot express their interests, put them in educational classes or social play classes, and let them decide what they are interested in. Just present them with all options, and encourage them to at least choose ONE. But, let it be their choice. A good way to help your child figure it out is by showing them examples of sports and activities available and asking them what they LIKE about each one. Perhaps your kid doesn’t like football, but as he/she is watching they see a player take off running and decide, they like track! Or, you could be showing them a dance routine, and they could decide they really like making music! Just, expose them to everything, and let them CHOOSE. Don’t try to force them because you did that when you were young, or because you think they may be talented in a field. Because, the fact is, if you PUSH them to do something, and they don’t do it for themselves, then they really will never fully ENJOY the activity. It will always be something they are FORCED to do, not WANTING to do.

#2- LIMITING/PROHIBITING

Okay, so my biggest example of this is GENDER limiting. But, it also happens with age, race and social standing. And frankly, it just has to STOP! There is absolutely NO REASON why any child should not be allowed to do what makes them HAPPY. I mean, again, this seems like a no-brainer. Hey, cheer leading really makes your boy happy, so why would you want him to NOT be HAPPY? Now, the argument was made to me once, that the reason is to prevent your child from being ostracized. It was argued that if you allowed a boy to cheer or a girl to play ball they would receive negative attention and it could be potentially damaging. That my friends, is a big pile of bull! For one, there is NO guaranteeing that a child will be teased. I have known male cheerleaders and female players that were VERY popular. But seriously, I want you to consider the message it sends to a child.

The message is: If someone is going to make fun of you for your choice or passion, you should just NOT DO IT! Is that really what we want our future generations to be like? A bunch of conforming, look-alike, act-alike, insecure, LOST people? Of course not! I think every parent would agree that they want their child to be strong, independent and UNIQUE. Well, part of creating that, is allowing those kids to cross the stereotypical boundaries. Not limiting their hearts and minds, but allowing them to break down centuries of walls we have built up for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON!

 

If, as a parent, you can present your child with an environment that encourages them to be who they want to be and do what they love, you will create a WILD CHILD, who will grow into an adult that is STRONG in their moral compass and HAPPY with the life they choose to live.

So, let your boy wear PINK and let your girl play in the MUD! Then encourage them both to find what THEY LIKE, and let ’em go! You’ll never find a happier, more well-balanced child.

 

So, that concludes our WALK ON THE WILD SIDE!

If you missed any part of our journey, feel free to go back and check it out OR, tomorrow I will have a quick review, if you’d just like to catch up!

On a side note, I am kind of sad, to see it come to an end!

BUT, I look forward to MONDAY when I begin to give tips and ideas along with stories and lessons I have learned. The REAL adventure begins now, as we actually start APPLYING all the things I’ve talked about this past week!

 

I hope to continue to see everyone reading! It sure makes me happy to see people gaining interest in becoming the BEST PARENT they can be!

 

Until Next time,

Wild Mommy MC

@wildmommymc

WildMommyMC@yahoo.com