So, I want to start off by saying:
To my wonderful boyfriend, Wild Daddy.
He’s the one who gave me the name Wild Mommy.
And he’s the one who has helped me become Wild Mommy and Wild Wifey!
He is a wonderful man who makes me laugh and smile through it all.
Thank you Wild Daddy, for being you and loving me. Oh, and loving Wild Boo too!
So, onto the blog…
In honor of Wild Daddy’s birthday, we’re going to talk about SHARING PARENTING.
One of the biggest things I feel are to blame for the breakdown of society is the break down of FAMILY.
Every Wild Mommy needs another Wild partner to share parenting with.
This person does NOT need to be your ACTUAL partner.
It could be a Wild Daddy, Wild Mommy, Wild Uncle, Wild Cousin… whatever!
The only things that matters are:
1-You agree on parenting styles (or they at least bend to your design)
2-They are of the opposite sex* and
3-They love you and your child.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I was a single-mom for a while, and I have the UTMOST respect for any single parent. No, you DO NOT need a husband or wife to raise a child. BUT, you should have a counterpart present in you child’s life.
Too many kids out there are growing up with only ONE parent to look up to for guidance. The biggest issue with this problem is that children need both FEMALE AND MALE examples of good people. Again, I am not arguing that only “couples” should have kids or that the only way to raise a kid right is by being a couple, all I am saying is make sure that whatever influence YOU make in their life, you have an equal but opposite influence as well. Not only will this allow your child the best possible experience, but it will also allow you breaks which create a better relationship between parents and children.
I think we can all agree that men and women are different. From our physical appearance to the way our brains work, we are so very different. And that’s where being a single-parent, you can run into issues. Perhaps it’s easier for same-sex parent-children, but I have seen many a mom struggle with a rowdy boy and seen many a dad struggle with a sensitive girl. The differences between males and females not only create diversity but these two types of DIFFERING roles are NEEDED in society. No matter how equal our gender rights are, we must all be aware that there are differences between us that are important! and it is DOUBLY important that we teach our kids these gender roles, but include the idea of breaking societal norms!
So, how do you do this? By setting a good example yourself. If you’re a Wild Mommy, teach your kids about being a GOOD WOMAN. Then, introduce them to a GOOD MAN so he can set that example. Again, this doesn’t have to mean a “DAD” in the normal sense. It can be grandpa or uncle or even a friend of the family. The ONLY point is to make sure they have good examples of BOTH genders. Because when you only have ONE, your child can become majorly off balance.
Example: There was a time period, between my divorce and meeting my boyfriend, where my daughter, Boo, had no male influence in her life. It was me and Mammaw raising a 2 year old. (That was also WAAAAAY too smart for her own good, and still is!) At the time, I remember thinking “This single-parent thing isn’t so bad”. But, I saw very quickly how hard it could get. Boo began misbehaving all the time. She had an attitude 5 miles long and her favorite word was “No”. Now, though most people chalked it up to “terrible twos”, even me, once I met my boyfriend he revealed the real situation. Boo hadn’t had a DAD in a pretty long while. and she hadn’t really had ANY male influence. Though I had been disciplining and handling her attitude, it never WENT AWAY. However, 3 months into dating my boyfriend, Boo had almost COMPLETELY gone away. Now, I will say, my boyfriend REALLY stepped up to the plate on this one. He took it upon himself to be a good MALE role model for Boo. Not only did he do the positive things like playing with her and loving on her, but he disciplined her too! And like I said, 3 months, and she had CHANGED! She stopped misbehaving all the time, she QUIT talking back to me (which was my boyfriend’s BIGGEST pet peeve, her disrespecting me) and she seemed HAPPIER. She NEEDED a MALE in her life. She needed that security and consistency. Not only that, but she needed to see how a MALE is supposed to treat a FEMALE, via role model.
I wish I had relied on my brother more during the times when I had no partner. I think Boo would have benefited quite a bit!
All I am saying is, find someone of the opposite sex to set an example for your child. It may not be detrimental to their health, but it is definitely BENEFICIAL to their growth into good adults!
Join me Friday as we continue to learn more about being a WILD MOMMY and raising a WILD CHILD! Also check out “Ways to stay WILD” tomorrow for tips on being an extra AWESOME Wild Mommy.
Wild Mommy MC